A 2017 study by the Philippine Institute for Development Studies (PIDS) found that generally, the Philippines is doing well in gender equality. They based this on the high number of women in tertiary education and the relatively high percentages of women who are employed. However, the need for more work in women empowerment surfaces when we dig into specific sectors.
In organizations, women in senior leadership teams often hold supporting roles. The proportion of men and women drops further at the highest executive levels and in board membership. Moreover, the report states that the proportion of companies with females as top managers dropped from 32.7% to 29.9% between 2009 to 2015.
How do we deal with this inequality? How can we create conditions in the workplace so that women have a fair shot at getting what they deserve?
Beyond the numbers, we need the CULTURE to change. We cannot stand back and tolerate a culture that consciously and even unconsciously treats women like they are less in every aspect.
To make this happen, we need ALLIES. We need members of other historically discriminated groups to help move the needle. We need MEN. Men have to step up and advocate WITH the women they work with.
Advocating WITH women is being in partnership with them. It is not about advocating for or representing on their behalf. Advocating WITH women is learning to empathize through listening and engaging in conversation to learn about what they need. It is not about advocating for them to get what you think they need. Advocating WITH women is about amplifying their voices. It is not simply about “giving them a voice" or "helping them find it.” Advocating WITH women is about creating opportunities for empowerment to be realized and for women to receive the full respect they have long deserved.
In this post, we give 8 tips on how to advocate with women in the workplace. This is great for men who want to get started on being an ally. But this is also great for ANYONE who wants to build a more inclusive workplace.
David, C. C., Albert, J. G., & Vizmanos, J. V. (2017, November). Filipino women in leadership: Government and industry. Retrieved March 07, 2021, from https://pids.gov.ph/publications/5868
Ray, S. (2020, December 15). A different kind of diversity program is inspiring people to be better allies – and be ok with making mistakes. Retrieved March 07, 2021, from https://news.microsoft.com/features/a-different-kind-of-diversity-program-is-inspiring-people-to-be-better-allies-and-be-ok-with-making-mistakes/
Tayao-Juego, A. (2018, January 21). Women leaders have it good in PH. Inquirer.Net. Retrieved from https://business.inquirer.net/244525/women-leaders-good-ph
1) Learn to listen.
No matter how much research we do or books we read, we cannot claim to fully know the experience of the people around us. This applies to the experience of women. Do not assume to know. When women talk about their experience, start with a willingness to listen. Focus on what they are saying. Display active listening skills by asking questions like, “what else” or encouraging them by saying, “tell me more.” Affirm the validity of their experience by repeating back the words they use and repeating back what they say to check for understanding.
2) Share in the household work and talk about it at work.
Research from the Pew Center found that fathers have tripled the amount of time they spend in tending to their kids and doing unpaid work at home since the 1970s. In recent years, we have seen this push towards more equal parenting and a split on household chores.
While it is great to see this trend at a societal level, we need to see and feel it more in the workplace.
For new fathers, take advantage of parental leave to signal that it is just as important for men to take time off work for a new baby.
As a male employee, if you need to skip work or take vacation days to tend to children or household errands, TELL YOUR COLLEAGUES about it. We need to see more men talking about these tasks that are stereotypically assigned to women.
Strike up a conversation with your colleagues of all genders about how they balance their household duties and works. We need to open up our workplaces to these kinds of conversations that show the importance of involving all genders in family and home-building. By breaking stereotypes in this aspect, we may start to see these values seep into work life.
Swenson, H., Rodsky, E., Smith, D. G., & Johnson, W. (2020, November 11). Dads, commit to your family at home and at work. Retrieved March 07, 2021, from https://hbr.org/2020/11/dads-commit-to-your-family-at-home-and-at-work
3) Pay attention to those who are ignored in meetings and team activities.
Especially in the virtual environment, it is harder for those who are historically ignored to find ways to let their voices be heard. This is the case for women and virtual meetings.
Gender differences exist in conversation style. Most women are conditioned to wait for natural pauses in conversation so as not to interrupt and to be more brief in their speech. This can greatly disadvantage someone in a virtual meeting where non-verbal cues are less available and there are fewer pauses in conversation.
What can you do if you see that individuals are ignored, especially if they are women (or a member of historically discriminated groups)?
Show them that they have your attention. Affirm them through chat. You can also take advantage of reaction buttons to show appreciation. If you find yourself on video, show non-verbal communication such as nodding and smiling to express that you are paying attention.
Make it a habit to look at meeting invites to ensure that the right people are invited to the meeting. If you notice that women who may have the expertise you need are not included, get them on the meeting right away and make sure they know that you value their opinion.
Be observant during meetings. Are there women who try to speak but are constantly interrupted? Speak up and say, “I think (person’s name) has something to say” to call the attention of the group. Look for an opportunity to toss the conversation to a woman who has experience in the topic discussed but is not being called on. You can say something like, “I know for a fact that (person’s name) is experienced in that area. What do you think (person’s name)? I am curious to know your thoughts on this.” An important thing to note here is your tone. Make sure you say this because you genuinely want to get their thoughts and not because you want to put them on the spot.
Note that these tips also apply to men! The great thing about creating more inclusive meetings is that it benefits ALL, regardless of gender, level, and other diverse factors.
Gupta, A. (2020, April 14). It’s Not Just You: In Online Meetings, Many Women Can’t Get a Word In. The New York Times. Retrieved March 7, 2021, from https://www.nytimes.com/2020/04/14/us/zoom-meetings-gender.html
Smith, D. G., & Johnson, W. (2020, October 27). 4 ways men can support their female colleagues - remotely. Retrieved March 07, 2021, from https://hbr.org/2020/10/4-ways-men-can-support-their-female-colleagues-remotely
4) Practice giving performance-based, ACTIONABLE, and balanced feedback for women and men.
Women are 57% more likely to get vague performance reviews than men at 43%. Developmental feedback for men are also 60% more likely to be linked to business outcomes than women at 40% (Correll & Simard, 2016).
When women receive actionable feedback, it tends to focus on task delivery and coping with politics. Feedback for men, on the other hand, tends to focus on setting the vision and leveraging politics for their advantage. (Doldor, Wyatt, & Silvester, 2021).
Pay attention to how you give feedback, especially in written performance reviews. Both men and women need a balance of skills to be more effective leaders. It is best to create standardized templates to ensure that specific, value-adding information will be collected for ALL employees.
Take time to have 1:1s with all employees to discuss feedback and development opportunities. Especially for women, this 1:1 time can be a more comfortable space to ask for the support that they need to continue growing.
Giving actionable feedback is one of the best ways to develop an individual. Women need this to increase their chances of getting promoted and recognized as a leader. Don’t forget that men also need to build skills that are traditionally assigned to women. When we also give men feedback on how to be collaborative and detailed in execution, we signal that these skills are important and valuable in our workplace.
Correll, S. J., & Simard, C. (2016, April 29). Research: Vague feedback is holding women back. Retrieved March 07, 2021, from https://hbr.org/2016/04/research-vague-feedback-is-holding-women-back
Doldor, E., Wyatt, M., & Silvester, J. (2021, February 10). Research: Men get more actionable feedback than women. Retrieved March 07, 2021, from https://hbr.org/2021/02/research-men-get-more-actionable-feedback-than-women
5) Mentor and sponsor women.
Data from the Working Mother Research Institute finds that in the past 24 months, 54% of men had a career discussion with a mentor or sponsor but only 39% of women can say the same (Anderson & Smith, 2019).
These discussions not only provide feedback, but also allow for the individual to declare their goals about where they want to take their career. Not having these career discussions can hurt women’s chances of advancing in the workplace.
Mentoring, which usually involves advising a mentee towards personal growth, learning, and career development, is not enough. Executives, especially male executives, must also act as sponsors for women. A sponsor is someone who can introduce their protégés to influential people in the organization. They advocate for raises, promotions, and recognition. They ensure that their protégés are visible to leadership teams and will come up as a top choice for future leadership positions.
If you are in the position to be a mentor and/or a sponsor, ensure that you have a diverse group of mentees and/or protégés.
How diverse is the group? Do you include even those in historically discriminated minorities? Are there women in the group? Use these questions to begin evaluating your mentorship and sponsorship practices.
Anderson, R. H., & Smith, D. G. (2019, August 07). What men can do to be better mentors and sponsors to women. Retrieved March 07, 2021, from https://hbr.org/2019/08/what-men-can-do-to-be-better-mentors-and-sponsors-to-women
6) Tell your story. Why do you advocate with women?
The more personalized we can be, the more we can show others why our advocacies matter. This is also important in advocating with women.
Do the work to reflect on why this matters to you. Identify past experiences that have shown you the importance of women empowerment. Draw inspiration from the women in your life and their experiences. This self-exploration is important to ground a person in the long and challenging journey of gender inclusion.
Culture-building is reinforced by storytelling. Humans are naturally drawn to stories as ways to gain lessons and insight on acceptable societal standards. When men tell stories about why women empowerment matters, it helps normalize the topic. It signals that this matters not just to women, but to organizations and society as a whole.
7) Engage with women's groups but DO NOT co-opt the movement for your own leadership gains.
When allies of a majority group get involved, there is a possibility for their voices to be amplified more than those who have been part of the movement from the very start. In worst case scenarios, their voices might even overshadow those who the movement exists for in the first place. Allies, especially male allies, must always be observant of this possibility.
Organizations are encouraged to have Employee Resource Groups (ERGs) for women. But these groups will not thrive with women alone. When men are deliberately engaged in gender inclusion, 96% of organizations see progress as compared to only 30% of organizations where men are not included (Johnson & Smith, 2018).
Men have a place in these movements. And at the same time, men must also always be aware that these movements have been going on and that these conversations have been pushed by so many other women in the past. We all stand on the shoulders of those who came before us to push the agenda. We must be able to give credit where credit is due.
Know when it’s time to pass the mic. Telling your personal story is important. But we should ensure that we do not make the movement all about us. Co-opting starts when we try to position the issue as a personal agenda versus a collective effort. Knowing when to pass the mic means knowing when it’s time to let those with first-hand experience tell their stories.
Being an ally is a privilege. This is true whether we are standing as allies for women, or the LGBTQIA+ community, persons with disabilities, and so many other social movements.
Remember that the people you advocate with do not owe you anything. To have the awareness and the resources to spend time and effort as part of these groups is a privilege. As allies, we do not deserve rewards for taking a stand to correct injustices that should not exist in the first place.
Johnson, W., & Smith, D. G. (2018, October 12). How men can become better allies to women. Retrieved March 07, 2021, from https://hbr.org/2018/10/how-men-can-become-better-allies-to-women
Schemmer, J. (2017, November 14). The difference between allyship and co-opting movements. Retrieved March 07, 2021, from https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-difference-between-al_1_b_12952014
8) You will make mistakes. Be open about your missteps and ask how you can be a better ally in future situations.
When we advocate with people, we will make mistakes. Especially if we come from a different context from them, we may not know when we are saying or doing something that could be contributing to inequality.
The best tip to deal with these mistakes is to be humble. If we get called out for something we say or do, we must take this as an opportunity for change.
Engage in conversation about your misstep. Ask what was wrong about your words or your behavior. Get background information on why. The more you understand, the more you can be aware of these tendencies in the future. Try your best to come from a growth mindset. Resist the urge to be defensive. Most importantly, ask for tips on how to improve. This shows a willingness to continue growing as an ally and as an advocate.
“If you want to lift up humanity, empower women. It is the most comprehensive, pervasive, high-leverage investment you can make in human beings.” (Melinda Gates, The Moment of Lift, 2019)
Inclusion benefits EVERYONE and inclusion needs everyone to get involved.
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